Stupor.

I don't know why but, recently I feel so apathetic about everything. Like I'm just floating in the air and I don't have anywhere to go. I should be feeling happy because things are going the way I want them to but somehow, something is missing and I don't know what it is. I would be really great to know what it is so that I could maybe get out of this stupor and be productive once again. I hate not being productive.

It's like I just really don't care. But I should. It scares me because it might backfire and I know it's going to backfire like shit. Argh. I hate feeling like this.

Fall Series. Antique.

So I'm back and school is still very tough (especially 2Danim2!) but I'm trying to get through it. Anyway onto my thoughts.

Fall TV Shows.

I know it's long overdue but I'm really glad that most of the TV series that I follow in the States are back on air. Though, internet in the condo is making it very hard to watch a show on time, we still manage to finish and watch it by the end of the day or at least in the wee hours of the morning. I don't think I would survive a week with all the spoilers posted on Twitter about The Vampire Diaries, Walking Dead, American Horror Story, etc. I wish this season wouldn't have to end :( But I have to be honest, the only thing that makes me excited that 2013 is coming very close is that Game of Thrones is also coming back by March! I can't wait to see what happens to the Starks and Winterfell! I'm sure it's going to be very interesting. 

Antique.

Two weeks ago, we--along with my Dad's siblings and their family went to Antique for our Lola's birthday. I had to rush all my requirements just so my professors could excuse me for missing my midterms. It was all worth it. Anyway, we were there for almost 5 days and made sure to make the most out of our short stay. Well, minus that one day after Lola's birthday where we had no choice but to bum around because it was raining like crazy. Good thing my aunts extended the karaoke for another day so we could sing while it's raining. Who cares if your voice isn't good, it's raining already anyway!

Lola's Birthday was a blast. My cousins and I had matching gray shirt and our parents wore colorful shirts--I felt like the house is going to explode with all the colors! 

After the rainy day that consumed our post-birthday celebration, we decided to drink by a bonfire because my cousin was hell bent on creating a bonfire and we wanted to drink as well. Yes I think we're crazy. But I like going to Antique and bonding with my Dad's side of the family. I admit, I'm closer to them than my Mom's side but that's 'cause we don't really see each other anymore. It's also crazy how even when some of my cousins are in the province, the moment that we meet up feels like we haven't been away for months. I feel so lucky!

Oh and we freakkin ate 'something' but we all knew at first that it was something else because that's what they told us, and they made us eat that something and now I think I have trust issues. Okay it's confusing but I still don't know if I should write about that :|

Anyway, I'm gonna write about Sponge Cola tomorrow. I need to be up by 5am. Ugh I hate Monday morning classes.

Stuck.

This week was definitely the craziest that I've had in the past few months. My roommates and I spent the whole week holed up in our little condo because the rains brought by the southwest monsoon had the whole metro soaked up in its wetness. It had us on our toes every night watching out for the suspension of classes and the rain was so intense that we can't even go out of the building because the flood is already knee-deep. But it gave us a chance to bond so much--so much that we're starting to get sick of each other's faces. I'm not kidding :))

Our room also became an evacuation center because all our canned goods and the food that we brought for the condo were all over the place. Plus our friend from the 41st floor decided to sleep over since it's scary when the weather is this crazy and you're all alone. Even when ours is just 12 floors up, it's scary seeing the blue sky getting covered with black clouds. I was worried for everybody but myself. I know that flood won't reach me unless I go down our building and with my height, you would know.

Once, we we're out of cheese rings food and toiletries, we decided to go down the lobby but once we saw that the flood in front of our building was already knee-deep and probably even higher, we thought twice about going out. Our friend decided that she'll just risk it (don't even dare to try that, it's dangerous!) so she waded through the flooded streets and into the next building to buy stuff for us. Aww we love you Yvs ♥  We shall complain about not having our own convenience store in the condo, don't worry! Anyway once the rain stopped the next day, we went to the grocery right away so we wouldn't get caught off guard ever again. But omg lol we bought a hundred pesos worth of cheese rings, just because. :)))

And yeah I felt my flu creeping up on me while I was doing my 3D in the cafe. Now, I'm sick and it feels so crazy -.-

Bus thoughts.

This is why I love Wifi busses. They let me abuse their wifi as long as I'm on the bus, plus it goes straight to Southwoods; which would get me home 2x faster! Finally, a bus that caters to my needs :))

Anyway, the La Salle - Ateneo game earlier was so intense, I decided to stay in the condo to watch it with my roommates and friends. We were so noisy; it was so much fun! I wonder how we'll be when we watch the game together. We haven't really done that :(

 This game reminds me so much of how I miss my best friend, Khey Ceeh. We were such big fans of Ateneo during the era of Fonacier, Tiu, Intal, etc. I miss watching and spazzing with her :(( And it's so ironic how I used to love Ateneo but I ended up studying in the sister school of DLSU.

Oh on a different note, the traffic in EDSA-Buendia is terrible!

Roadblock

For days I've been figuring out and trying to organize my mind on what I want to write here. And every time I come up with something, I always run into a roadblock. So I guess I'm just gonna go random and write what ever is on my mind at the moment.

Right now, I'm still trying to contemplate my decisions for the coming months. It's going to be crucial but I still can't spill anything about it. All I know is that if everything works out well for me and if it actually pushes through, I might be on my way to RI by fall, next year. It's going to be a very hard decision but I know it's also an obvious one.

I'm just praying for everything to work out so I could stop living nervously *-*

This feeling.

I'm excited. I really am. Though it may not be obvious to everybody anymore, I am excited in my own way. Frankly, I want to yell at the top of my lungs because I missed them more than anything. You guys have no idea how much. But I can't shake the feeling that if I go back to that space, I'll get lost in this feeling again. They do have an effect like that. And yes I'm writing pretty vaguely tonight because I don't want to cause anything by putting everything out there.

Being what I was is pretty exhausting but I love it. I still love it but I guess my priorities are more important to me right now. I know I have a lot of responsibilities also but being in my position right now, it's really really hard to keep tabs on everything. Especially when you're taking on 6 major subjects and all of them have equally crazy amount of work to be done by the end of the term.

I don't know. I'm not ranting, I just needed to let this out. Some people maybe wondering why I've been so out of the loop and MIA most of the time. So here it is :]

/I was about to write about my adventures at UST the other day but I guess that's for another day heehee/

Baby Boy

When I was a kid (I can't say 'little' since I never really grew that much. Haha.), I had a group of friends that I thought would last forever. But I guess as we grew older and went to different high schools and colleges, we started drifting apart. Now after a few years, I bumped into one of my childhood crushes in our street last Sunday night. I can't say who but he isn't in my group. He's a bit older and he had a different set of friends in the village but he's definitely connected to us.

I bumped into him as I was about to buy something in the store and there I noticed that he looked so... old and tired. But I know that he's still in his early 20's so I thought that maybe it was stress from work. We exchanged a few hello's and how are you's and as I was paying, he said that he'll walk me home. I was giddy inside, to be really frank. Hey it's not every night that some one gets to walk me home. Plus he's my crush :))

He asked me about college, my course and generally about life. We talked so much about me that I almost forgot to ask about him. We sat down on the gutter in front of my house and I decided to ask about him. He had that bittersweet emotion on his face when he started saying stuff about family, school and friends, but as he revealed about his son, his face became soft, carefree and happy.

To tell the truth, I was startled when he started talking about his son. I wasn't ready to hear him say that, because I guess, to me, he's still that cute 16y/o that I've been crushing on since forever. But as his stories go deeper and more serious, the more I realize that he's still trying to cope with everything. He started telling me stuff about his life after his son was born and how hard it is to take care of his "wife" and son; how he's so envious of the people around his age being free of this responsibility. He loves his son. He's very sure of that, but he also wanted a free life, well maybe for a few more years before having a kid but what else can he do?

I wanted to comfort him but I don't know how. It's not like someone's always spilling their guts to me in this kind of way. So I really don't know how to react. He decided to trust me and I know my hug will never be enough to show him my support and all but at the same time in my mind, I wanted to slap him and yell that he should've known better. But who am I to do such thing? I feel like a bad friend.

I know that he knows better now. And hopefully this isn't the first and last time we'll talk. No, it's not because I still have a slight crush on him (haha), but because it sure seems like he needs someone to just listen to him. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to smack some sense to him--or maybe just tap some. Hurting him wouldn't really do justice to this whole thing ;)

Weird.

Around this time last night, my roommates and I felt hungry and randomly decided to go to the Ministop in the next condo to buy some chips and drinks. When we entered, I almost fell because I tripped on the door all because I saw my crush (who also lives in our building :P) buying some chips there... wearing sando and boxers.

I don't really know him nor his name and we only see each other in the lobby of our building most of the time so it was kinda awkward. I think he also felt awkward and shy because when I looked at him and he was looking down and then he looked at me and I shyly looked away. I swear if other people actually noticed us, they would seriously think we were idiots.

Anyway I just needed to let this out because I've been feeling giddy about that since last night. It made it hard for me to sleep because I kept replaying everything that happened in ministop. And yes, I know I sound really ridiculous.

Haha. Good night.

Rainy Tuesday

I've been listening to Maroon 5's Overexposed album for a whole week already! I love every song, or at least the ones that aren't remixed. Don't get me wrong, I love remixes but when you have 4 or 5 remixes of one song in an album, sometimes it gets too overrated. Nonetheless, I love all the other songs! I swear sometimes I wonder why they made Payphone their front song when there are so many other wonderful songs inside, like, Wipe Your Eyes, Daylight and Beautiful Goodbye. But that wasn't what I was supposed to write. LOL.

Yesterday, our college decided to suspend classes at 1:30pm due to the heavy rains that poured all over the metro all day. Frankly, I thought CSB wouldn't suspend classes until after 3pm. Let's face it, this is CSB. They're usually the last one to announce anything. It didn't help that I was also feeling a bit hesitant to attend my night class yesterday because I still hadn't finished my 2DANIM plates, but either way, I really don't have any choice. I only have a little over 6 hours to finish 4 more plates for midterms. Luckily, they did suspend the class and we're all a little bit relieved that we still have at least 24 hours to finish our midterm plates.

But of course, since we already planned something for the Tuesday break beforehand, Tihn still pushed through with her birthday surprise for Jackie. She bought Bonchon for us to pig out on and after Jackie got to the condo, we ordered KFC and somebody went down to buy ice cream while the rest of us watched Zombieland. Talk about finishing my plates. Hah.

Eventually, everything has to end and we were all left to our midterm requirements again. Hey, I was able to finish my WEBDEV images just in time. That should count for something :))

Still in class.

So I thought that my group will fail our Sound Design midterms. We didn't know that we should've submitted our script yesterday because he said that he'll be teaching us radio script writing this week. So imagine our surprise when he said that he wanted to see our script when we entered class. As one of the only 2 girls in a group of 10 members, I was really scared. Especially when I'm eligible for a plus .5 on my finals grade. I was REALLY scared.

But, you know what they say about underdogs, they do always have a way. I think I just made that saying up. Being up against another group who's very competitve by just the looks of them, we feel very inferior. It also doesn't help that the impressions about the boys in my group are rowdy and just plain naughty. Stereotypical.

But thank heavens because we finished a funny script and tracking in less than an hour. We'll just edit it and add sound effects and then we'll be done! Yayyyy IN YOUR FEZ NYAAA!

On another note, we're still waiting for a suspension announcement from our admin. It's been raining like crazy since this morning when I left the condo. Pleaseeee let it be good news ;))

Ramblings.

Recently it seems that whenever I go back to blogger, the first thing I seem to write first is, "it's been a while" or "it's been so long.." and I promise to change and stop neglecting my blog. First step to that is changing the dull layout to something light and relaxing to the eye, Pink and White! Yes, I know it's girly. Sorry, my girl instincts are kicking it today. And 2nd step? I don't know yet. Probably post something new everyday :)

The 2nd part would most probably be hard since I just recently (and temporarily) moved out of our Mandaluyong house and moved in with my friends in Taft. We're still figuring out how we'll avail wifi for the condo, so we're pretty much relying on downloaded tv series and homework's to entertain ourselves.

I can't believe I just said 'homework's to entertain ourselves'.

Anyway, it's been a almost a month and a week since the term started and I think I'm about to go crazy from all the heavy requirements from my majors. I'm taking up all 6 majors right now and I swear that I've never been busier in my life. Okay maybe I was exactly as busy last December because of Kcon, but you get my drift. My point is, I'm going crazy.

And I have to prepare and leave for Taft now because my roommate will go all paranoid if I'm not yet there by 7pm.

Lata! :)

Cousin Bonding Weekend.

My cousins and I have been around each other since we were born and it's just so crazy how we never get tired of each other. And as we grew older, we've also become each other's best friends. Everything is so cute. Once we're all together, it seems that everything that needs to matter, doesn't anymore and we're stuck in this hole that we can all go crazy in and it wouldn't even feel embarrassing because we're with each other.

This weekend is a little crazier because they made Kuya Paul and I stay until Tuesday morning. I only have a few clothes to use (I had to use Tara's clothes going back to Manila. Haha). Plus it's also the first time that Tackie's with us. He doesn't usually hang out with us (unless it's our end of the year reunion) because his dad's a diplomat and their family's staying god-knows-where right now in some part of the world. I think they're staying in Jakarta right now. Anyway so Tackie's with us and seriously that boy's so cute and aggressive. I want to pinch his cheeks! haha. But he had to leave on Sunday night because they have other things to do during the weekdays.

Anyway, it's suuuuuuuper cold in Cavite. I think it's at par with Baguio already. But even if it feels like negative-something-degrees already we still stayed outside the house until around night time just to talk, share stories and play games. It's fun to be just like that. Feel idle and just enjoy everything. My Aunt also revealed so many stuff about us when we were still babies! We we're so disgustingly cute LOL.

At one point yesterday my Aunt also shared that what Tara was to Bim today was what she was to Tito Bong (her older brother) before. Well she said that up til now she still likes making him buy things for her. Even if he hates it, he still spoils her most of the time. It's so cute. So I had to tease Kuya Paul that he should graduate already so I could request stuff from him already (well bigger things than hamburgers haha). From that, I realized that even if I'm an only child, my Kuya Paul and Kuya Philippe do spoil me a lot. Even with little things like hamburgers and t-shirts and ice creams. Haha. I like this life :))

Any, I should get back to working on my finals requirements. I have to finish everything this week! Huuuuuuuul.

#9

It's too early for me to think of a title.

Anyway, it's been awhile and frankly I should be finishing my homework for DESNCON which I've been putting off for quite awhile now. I slept it off (again) last night because this huge headache came over me and I feel that even if I tried to do it I would just end up with a crappy work so I just went to bed early

Now I'm up at 5:30am--which I haven't done in a very long time--thinking of milk carton designs and bus wrap advertisement designs.

I've been feeling kind of apathetic to everything lately, too. I don't know why but I think I've been focusing too much on school that I'm failing to notice the other things. Not that I want to but I just feel that they really don't need my attention right now. I know it's wrong. Aaaah, sorry :(

Also, not that it bothers me but the most unexpected people liked my concept photography shot. I mean people from highs chool, the ones that I've never really been close with and the people that I haven't talked to in a really long while, liked it. I like the feeling that somehow it connects us again. Like I could just come up to them again and ask, "Hey, what's up?" Like how it used to be. Well, maybe, maybe not. But it never hurts to try. And again, I like this feeling.

I should really start with my designs.

In class right now.

I have to say that PARTDES class is probably the most boring class that I'm taking this term. It was interesting at first but when they changed our professor, fun went spiraling down :| the new prof is good I'm sure but all she does is pure lecture.

I'm just waiting for the breaktime to go up to the 10th and have the equipment dept extend my ID pass since my Concept Photog professor still isn't around to sign our incident report about yesterdays mishap with the buld during yesterdays photoshoot.

And I still haven't eaten any Tikoy's!! I feel so sad, boo.

Plus wifi here can't load Beast's new MV. Ugh deffo not my day.

#7

Okay I'm taking a break from all my Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator duties so I could write for a bit. I have to finish everything at 3am and right now my head just feels like a twisted pulp and it's asking me to give it a rest even for just 5 minutes. So here I am, writing to clear my head off and because I really hate not being productive. LOL.

Earlier my groupmates and I were supposed to have our photoshoot for Conceptual Photography's next plate but guess what, we had to re-schedule it to early tomorrow (which is technically, today) because we were under manned and our yellow-form is with our other member. I felt a bit bad because I wanted to finish it now so I'd just have to print it later, but no, we have to actually move the whole thing. Ugh. Yeah I'm a bit pissed off.

Adding to that, when I went home, I realized that I left my keys in my other bag. The admin didn't have our spare key because apparently my aunt has them too. I wanted the world to just crash down on me and end my suffering. I ended up taking a cab to go to Eastwood to grab dinner at my aunt's resto and indulge on some Happy Lemon!

I tried out Komrad's really spicy dish, I forgot it's name though (mental note: ask aunt). But it was REAAAAAAAAAAALLY spicy, I felt like crying, at the same time it was also really yummy and crunchy. At first, I thought that it just felt hot because it was newly cooked but after a while and after realizing that the aircon is just on top of me and blowing 16deg of cold air, it dawned on me that I was kinda sweating because of the spices in the food and not because it was just newly cooked. LOL

Then we ordered this yummy pidding cake with VANILLA on the side at Cyma's. It was mouthwatering and it perfectly erased the spicy feel on my tongue. It's a piece of heaven. I love it!

Anyway I'm going back to work. Hopefully I get to wake up early and finish my printing and photoshoot today. It's just the 4th week since the term started but I feel like dying already. What is this!? damnit!

I should sleep.

LOL yeah I should. It's 4 in the morning and I am stuck in my bed, rolling back and forth. So, I'm gonna keep this one short so that I could go back and concentrate on how am I gonna sleep.

I've been watching this new tv series called Switched at Birth the whole day and I think it's an absolute genious. It's about two families who got their daughters switched at birth. One went to this uber rich family and the other one went to a single mom living in the East suberbs and also she became deaf when she got sick when she was little. The show really made me feel like I could totally relate to them even though being switched is very much far from my case. Though if that happened to me, my mom would probably react the same way as the moms in the series did. As embarrassing as that may sound. Lol. Yeah I'm not gonna say everything here so you would just have to watch it :))

Also today, I had a really great time with my kpop buddies during ZE:A's last mall tour at Market Market. The mall was packed and it brought back so many memories -ehemBEASTehem- and made me realize a lot of things. I do miss those times. Haha. Fangirl life :))

Anyway I guess I'd be staying in the condo for the rest of the week. My parents called yesterday morning (technically) to tell me not to go home to Laguna because they're both sick and they didn't want me to catch it since I was just sick 2weeks ago. Awww my poor parents :(( I hope they get well soon! I should bring them something next week when I go home. I miss them.

Ah finally, my eyes are getting droopy. Ttyl :)

Happy 2012!

And 7 days after... I blog :)

Year 2011 left me literally looking like a pulp with a year-end event and being sick right after it, I should really despise everything but right now, I don't really care. All I know is that I was really happy, I made new friends, I got to keep the old ones, my life was pretty much always on the go but I'm really glad that was still able to keep my priorities in check. Yeah there may be few days that I was down and stressed but well, we're past that already, let's all move on :)

We finally had our KPOPCON3 event last December 30 and there were lots of people, the FC's were really cooperative and although the aircon kind of gave up on us halfway through the event, the people still stayed until the awarding ceremony. Our LED monitor is so gorgeous, I wanted to flash random photos of the core people up on it. It was soooooo pretty! I was in the tech booth, running the LED and the show with Direk Sofia and Eason and I have to say that, while I know next to nothing about show directing and  technical stuff, I learned soooooo much from Direk Sofie and she was also very open to all my other suggestions while we were at the booth. Everything brought a rush of adrenaline to me that I've never felt ever before in the last con's. All in all, after everything that happened that day and yes even after I got sick with Amoebiasis probably from something I ate or drank from Banchetto, I was still happy :)

Anyway, be careful of what you eat guys! Amoebiasis is a bitch! ><''

Now, year 2012 is here and I'm ready to just take on it! Our third term just recently started and all my subjects seem really exciting and challenging. I think it'll be a whole term where I'll deal with company logo's and the like but, I'm really, really, excited! Last term was kind of hectic but this time, I'll try to manage my time wisely.


New year, new me? Yeah, definitely.